Between The Lines
by kei-v3
Summary: Semi AU - L-elf works part time in a local library, and guess who comes to visit in his every shift? It cannot be just his imagination, right?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hello! Welcome to this peaceful AU with Dorssia + JIOR setting. This is actually the first HaruEru fanfic I wrote, and I had wanted to write until the end but I was like, meh, let's just make it multichaptered. So here it is. L-elf didn't have any military training, so while he's still sardonic, calculative, and observant, I don't think he's as cold. Haruto is just there being his saccharine sweet self, I think. I have headcanons on what Shoko, A-drei, and Lieselotte should be in this story, but I don't know if they will appear or not. _

_Oh, also, I haven't worked in libraries yet, so any technical mistakes would be solely on my part. Inputs will be precious. _

_Nevertheless, enjoy! _

* * *

ハルエル

* * *

He was simply one of those stalkers. L-elf didn't like those types, so he didn't see any reason to act differently around this one.

His shift at the local library always began with checking what his co-workers had done previously. As the receptionist, he took care of the customers' needs, strictly speaking about borrowing and returning books, as well as pointing out directory search for a specific title or author. When he felt like it, he could always make a small talk. Recommending another author in the genre, perhaps, or reviewing that new title which just came out last week. Just enough to pass as a sociable worker. Yet, it was sort of vexing. He specifically chose to do part-time job on the library to deal with books instead of people, and here he thought that the owner had made him the face of the place. If not, why else would he get more front desk shifts than inputting data in the back room?

L-elf felt neutral towards the attention he got; it was flattering, even, that a brief business smile could make a girl visibly melt in front of him. But he hated being self-conscious around people, wondering if they had an ulterior motive or not. Especially this insufferable naive idiot who grated on his nerves. If glares could murder, then L-elf had stab him in the heart and shot his chest twice, just for today. Considering how the customer never failed to show up twice a week on his shifts, he would be considered an immortal.

Tokishima Haruto's records showed he only borrowed books on the day that L-elf worked there. The brown haired boy had the gall to pretend not to notice L-elf; yet all he did was peeking through the book when L-elf wasn't looking at him. If Tokishima Haruto didn't actually read the books he was borrowing, L-elf would've filed a complaint on him. But when he returned them, he always chattered about the content. L-elf had gotten so used to it that he had dropped the sociable act and outright glared at Tokishima Haruto to shut up, whose dense skull failed to notice every single time.

"I'm borrowing these!" A cheerful voice came up behind, just an hour before his shift was over. _Punctual as usual_, L-elf thought as he turned around to find Tokishima Haruto handed over two novels. L-elf only sighed at the male as he took the books. His eyebrows frowned, and he wished Tokishima Haruto would get a clue and get lost from his sight already.

"...done," L-elf said, handing the book back as well as Tokishima's member card. Without sparing a glance, he went away to finish his other desk jobs.

"Wait. I have a snack, do you want to try some?" Tokishima suddenly asked as he reached into the bag. It wasn't with him while he sat; the bags must be put in the lockers beside the front desk before a customer got into the reading area. "Here. Homemade redbean jelly. Yokan."

The silver-haired male's eyebrow went up questioning the offer. "I know yokan," L-elf mumbled under his breath. He couldn't begin to fathom whether Tokishima was serious or not.

"Take one!"

Apparently he was. L-elf shot another murderous glare. If he took it, would Tokishima Haruto get out of his sight already? There was some surprising persistence in the other male that showed up from time to time, and there was no sign of him leaving unless L-elf reacted to the offer, it seemed. Most likely he wouldn't be scolded for eating on his shift, even though there was an acting manager in the library. He sighed, took a cut of yokan, then muttered a begrudging "Thanks."

"Try it, it's really good," Tokishima said. L-elf stood still for a moment. He didn't know what drove him against refusing the prompt, because he did decide to try it.

What a surprise, it was different than the store-bought yokan. The taste was delicate, the hint of natural sweetness was always there in every bite, and the aromatic red bean as it spread in his mouth was superb. Did Tokishima make this himself?

Apparently his face showed what he was thinking, because Tokishima grinned at him. It was a rare smug grin coming from the other, and L-elf felt irritated. However, instead of commenting anything, the blue-eyed male just nodded to him and put the box back to his bag, and made his way off of the library.

Just as L-elf predicted, wasn't it? Well, it was a win-win situation; he didn't hate the yokan at all.

* * *

Afterwards, everytime Tokishima Haruto went to the library, he would bring all sorts of different, wildly assorted food. L-elf couldn't even imagine how a cream cracker would taste good with traditional pickle, but it did. What bewildered him even more, was the fact that he never refused the food. Maybe he was hungry for being all afternoon clamped inside the indoor library. But even after considering the possibility, he never brought a snack for himself either. It was just not possible that he waited for Tokishima to bring him snack, wasn't it? (No matter how good they were.)

Tokishima always came wearing his uniform. Neat tosca blue coat with an emblem of Sakimori high school. That was an elite school. He didn't even know how Tokishima Haruto could enter the school, he looked like an idiot. Must be a different screening to choose the students. L-elf himself had a gakuran uniform that he took off everytime he worked for a part time job. Besides the part time in the library, he had had others, which he dropped immediately after the impossible working hours. Not that keeping his grades were hard, but he needed a controlled environment without too many elements in the equation, and the extra hour to sleep didn't hurt in maintaining concentration during classes.

That he revealed these information to Tokishima Haruto surprised himself too. He said them begrudgingly, sure, but maybe his tone wasn't snappish enough, because Tokishima now spent more time talking to him than reading, especially when there was no immediate customer. Most of it were around the contents of a book, but personal questions kept popping out from time to time. And even the not-so-implied insults he added to his answers couldn't deter Tokishima Haruto from coming back.

L-elf kept himself in check for never asking such questions in return. Asking them would imply that he was interested to get to know Tokishima Haruto, which wasn't the case.

For some reason, Tokishima never talked about himself either.

* * *

They were disgusting.

L-elf could feel the coarse texture and sticky sweat from the palm which touched his fingers as he handed over the owner looked at L-elf as if he was some kind of meat; it was impossible to miss the racing breath. The drool was invisible, but it was definitely there.

"Sir, these are your book," he stated coldly, as if unfazed by the treatment. He could see the customer's Adam apple moved in a gulping motion, and L-elf didn't want to think the reason behind it. He was handing over a high-rated almost porn books, with way more than suggestive covers, but L-elf managed to keep his face straight. The library didn't have a screening over the books, though they put sensitive topics on a separated room, where this man must have taken from. He shot a sharp glare, but maybe Tokishima Haruto managed to make them dull, because this didn't stop the man from brushing his hands as he took the books.

There was a leer as the man said, "He he, thank you, L-kun."

"It's L-elf, Sir," he corrected as if the man said his name mistakenly. L-elf blatantly ignored the possibility that it was some kind of nickname the man had for him.

As the man finally passed because the next person in line coughed, L-elf tried not to think how repulsive what happened just now was.

Of course, he also tried not to think why Tokishima Haruto didn't come today.

"Excuse me, I want to know how long I can borrow these..." the customer in line said, and L-elf nodded coolly as if he wasn't lost in thought just a second before, attending to her inquiry.

Time passed without many members came over to the front desk afterwards, and L-elf thought how time had been stretching today. It made him feel even more weary than usual, and his body felt sluggish. He was not in charge to close the library, but it was the end of his shift. So L-elf took off from the front desk and walked around to change back to his gakuran. Practically, he was only wearing the gakuran coat over his white shirt, so he didn't get inside the changing room too long. He took his briefcase-style bag and walked outside the back door.

"L-kun."

The repulsive feeling drenched him over in an instant, and he turned around to see previous disgusting customer stood between him and the street just five meters from the back door. L-elf immediately calculated his choices. He could outrun such overweight middle aged man, but the man was too big that there was a worse possibility of getting caught as L-elf tried to pass through him in this alley. Working in the library made him less agile than his middle school days. It wouldn't hurt to try, though.

"Sir," he acknowledged the man's presence and walked towards the street nonchalantly as if they were simply passerbys.

Getting closer, he could hear the man's breath was even racier. For a split second it threw L-elf off of his composed mask. Could he just kill this disgusting man and get it over with? No, of course he couldn't.

"Look at me, you Dorssian refugee!" the man spat the words, and L-elf's eyes widened at the insult. "Be good and come here, you worthless boy. I will treat you like some piece of shit you are! Hey!"

L-elf had already stopped listening and made a twist to his right side. The man followed his movement as predicted, and that was when he took a full stop and jumped to his left side, so quick he was already slipping by the moment the man noticed what was wrong. L-elf could do such a sudden accelleration to his advantage, and even though the man was more swift than he looked, the silver-haired boy already reached the street.

Shit. He was hoping a bustling street, but there were only a few people. They looked at him strangely, as if asking what such a light-haired boy doing in this area. L-elf had an archetypal look of a Dorssian, and in this JIOR area, it was too obvious how foreign he was. No, he couldn't stay here, the man was just behind him.

Taking momentum as he landed to the street, L-elf pushed himself up and ran towards his left, off, away from this place as far as he could. He knew he was stronger than that man, he knew he could attack the man by force and winning, but what would happen next? It would just turn out worse from him, the inequality for the non-native citizens.

That couldn't happen. This was why he hated stalkers. But even more so, he hated himself. He hated this hair color and his pale complexion. He hated the fact that he wasn't born a JIORian.

"L-elf!"

Horror felt like a cold winter shower against his skin.

"L-elf, wait!"

It terrified him that he tripped over nothing and fell to the ground, knees first. At least he wasn't hurting his hands or face.

"Wah, that looks painful, are you okay?"

This voice... it was not the man's. He recognized this one. L-elf straightened himself up, and he finally turned around to see the familiar dark brown strands of hair, even though the face was dark from the lamp street right behind the caller.

"To... kishima Haruto."

Said boy crossed arms and sighed. "Your run is really quick, you know? ...You look pale, are you okay?" he repeated the question. His voice was ridiculously warm, and L-elf sighed deeply. He wouldn't admit it, but it was a relieved sigh.

"Why.." _didn't you come today_, L-elf found himself almost asking, but stopped himself. L-elf just realized Tokishima wasn't in his uniform today, and upon closer look, he was holding the books he borrowed last week.

It seemed that Tokishima followed his gaze, because he lifted the books. "These? Ah, I went to the library just now, but the front desk was closed already. I guess I'll pay the fine for being late tomorrow."

"Tomorrow..."

But tomorrow L-elf wouldn't be there. His cheeks got warmer involuntarily for having such thoughts. He had thought that Tokishima came to the library because of him, but for the first time, L-elf considered a possibility that he was too vain to think like that.

Tokishima Haruto gasped, and exclaimed, "Look! You're hurting afterall. It's not a wound anymore, it's a gash!"

L-elf frowned. "Stop making such a ruckus over it. It doesn't hurt, I'll just treat it at home," he said. But when he started moving his legs, there was a sudden sting of pain. He looked down, and noticed the torn trousers and the bleeding knee. On the ground, there were several sharp pebbles. He was unlucky to be falling straight onto those.

"Is your home far?" Tokishima asked as he approached closer.

"...yes," L-elf hesitantly answered. He commuted by train, continued with a long walk. And as much as he could stand the pain, if not being treated it might cause infection. "I'm fine, Tokishima Haruto," he said when the brunet wore a worried expression in his face. It was an alien expression. L-elf didn't get it from people that often, if ever.

"Uh, my home is just over there, we can treat your wounds if you come with me."

That notion caught L-elf off guard. "What? You're but a stranger to me, that's presumptuous of you to think I'll just follow you to your place." Yet at the same time, L-elf found himself not actually minding it. Why? What made this boy different than other stalkers? Yes, there was still a possibility that Tokishima Haruto was one of them. L-elf should be more vigilant than this.

His words didn't deter Tokishima, because he had this stubborn look in his all too blue eyes. "But it makes sense. It's near, and you need to be treated, and I'm not a stranger, I'm more like an... acquaintance," he said. There was a slight dejected tone on the last part, but L-elf didn't address that. "...she must be rubbing off on me..."

Did he hear it correctly? 'She'?

But Tokishima merely mumbled the sentence, so L-elf figured it was not meant for his ears. At the very least, it shouldn't cause him to feel this irritated. What the brunet offered was highly rational, and L-elf, as much unused to kindness as he was, wasn't above utilizing any advantages life offered him, even in the form of a very saccharine person like Tokishima Haruto.

Some dignity dictated him to fix his standing posture and maintain a calm stepping moves, no matter how painful they were, but his silver strands swayed as he nodded. "...Fine, lead the way."

* * *

ハルエル

* * *

_。。。_

_A/N: And so here ends the first chapter. :) Thank you for reading this far! Next chapter will have more HaruEru moments I think. Ah, those awkward moments. I love awkward misunderstanding moments which resulting in innocent blushes and unresolved tensions. _

_Reviews will be most appreciated, and if I tend to repeatedly make the same grammar/tense mistakes, feel free to hit the PMs! :3_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Welcome to the second part of the first scene. I want to write longer, but I decided to split what I planned for this chapter so you could actually process what had happened. At least, better than if I offered you a second scene immediately. Thank you very much for the reviews! You don't know how much those made my days. QwQ Shout out to **Pulver15**, whose review came just in the right time to prompt me into finishing this scene. But I will forever fangirl over **Yaruming**'s reviews. Please reveal yourself to me through tumblr or FF or somewhere, I'd love to fangirl with you! QuQ)/_

_ I've planned this scene to happen since I'm writing the first chapter, but you'll immediately recognize the similarity with the latest episode of VVV! (Which by the way made me fell all over again with the anime like whoa.)_

_Unbeta-ed, so warning for the mistakes that might be there. Please, do enjoy. _

* * *

ハルエル

* * *

L-elf felt like blood was drained from his head, making him painfully aware of his surrounding in a fleeting way. It hurt more than he thought, his ankle. Even though the one bleeding was his knee, he felt almost nothing from it. But his ankle was probably twisted in the wrong way. He didn't doubt it would be swollen for days. When he was in the track team, as well as in the dojo where he learned how to do slight martial arts, he had used his muscles to help with the homeopathy; now not so really. And it was winter, so his joints would feel like...

...wait, why did he keep complaining in his head?

His head cocked to his left side, where Tokishima Haruto was. L-elf could see the brunet glanced at him more than once, but like always, his soon-to-be-host didn't mention a thing about his condition. At the same time, L-elf felt unavoidably self-conscious. For making him feel this way, he hated Tokishima Haruto.

But the boy wasn't joking when he said his place was close. It was visible, even, from the park he met (or ran away from) the brunet. They should have arrived in no time, but it took them longer than ten minutes. L-elf, after he stopped being distracted by the pain, finally realized that not only him, but Tokishima Haruto had also walked in an excruciatingly slow pace.

Did the brunet adjust it for him? This was embarrassing. It was enough he had to rely on Tokishima Haruto for the first aid they were coming here for, and now he was being treated like this? He didn't want it. L-elf only needed himself.

They entered the hotel-like lobby. It was obviously a rather luxurious place, different than a rundown flat with a sloppy landlord in suburb area where his place was. Tokishima Haruto didn't look like the part, but after coming here, L-elf strongly suspected that the brunet was a son of some elite member of the society.

Still, whatever sorry excuse Tokishima Haruto might had, L-elf didn't get any prying questions, nor some explanation where they might be heading. Tokishima simply walked slightly ahead of him, waiting if he was a bit too slow like right now, as they were entering the lift. He hit the 17 number, and when their eyes met, he smiled slightly. L-elf was the first one to throw his face aside.

They didn't travel far from the lift. It seemed the entire floor only had a few rooms, and L-elf predicted each one of them would be rather spacious. He fidgeted, uneasiness grew in his chest. He didn't come to this kind of place too often. Or at all, actually. It seemed really high, so disattached from the ground, and L-elf couldn't figure about whether he was glad or not about not having windows in this corridor.

"L-elf," Tokishima addressed him, and L-elf willed himself to stop feeling nervous. "Here's my place," he said, swiping a card and unlocking the door.

"Yeah," L-elf nodded, though probably he didn't have to say anything. He grumbled inwardly; did he have to calculate every bit now before he could get approval from himself? This was ridiculous.

His train of thought was cut by the sight of the studio-style apartment room. It was spacious indeed, and felt even more so due to the lack of obstructing walls dissecting the whole space into smaller rooms. He could only see the bathroom to his side, then kitchen, then the rest of them was styled to be a comfortable room that looked like a modern yet homy president-suite hotel room. Must be the splashes of warm colors in the sofa pillows.

"Welcome," Tokishima said warmly, and there went this grating feeling again in L-elf's chest for being treated this way. His lips pursed slightly, but he didn't even say the polite 'I'll be intruding' or something. Tokishima Haruto didn't seem to mind his silentness, and the brunet pat his shoulder once before pointing to the khaki-colored couch. "Please, sit down. I'll bring you the first aid kit."

"Alright," L-elf said.

The soft couch received his body comfortably, way different from the tatami on his room. Now what? He was imposing on his customer, getting himself weakened from...

From...

_The sweaty palm, the disgusting panting breath, the big body, the repulsive existence that he wished he would never meet again. Was he sill chasing when L-elf went to that park? Was the man still behind him as he met Tokishima Haruto? What if he was still behind them even at this moment-_

"Here you go."

L-elf audibly gasped when Tokishima Haruto approached him. For a brief moment, both of them were staring at each other, seemingly shocked of the reaction. L-elf couldn't read Tokishima Haruto's expression, and it infuriated him. He had let his guards down too far.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to suprise you," Tokishima said, and L-elf paled. He didn't mean to react that way either, and if Tokishima Haruto wasn't here, he probably wouldn't. The kindness and warmth he received was a stark contrast with what he had experienced just now. Normally he would just be alright with anything the world threw at him. Nothing went right ever since he was a child, and he was fine with that. He could put anything behind him. But this damned JIORian. Why could he unnerve L-elf so much?

L-elf simply thinned his lips and didn't say anything else.

"Do you want me to take care of your bleeding?" Tokishima asked.

L-eld gave him deadpanned eyes. "There's no way I'd let you. Give me that." He took the box by force and put it beside him on the couch. He could hear the sound of stiffled chuckle coming from the brunet, and it made him scowl deeper. He didn't know why the brunet laughed at him, but he pointedly ignored it through quite an effort. Rolling up the sleeve of his black trousers, he took notice of the bone protruding his skin. It looked as if he didn't eat much, and for a second there, he was actually _shy_.

But just why would he think like that?

Even as immersing himself in the thought, his hands automatically moved to clean the wound and put a plester on his knee. It should be enough; the wound wasn't that big, and a trickle running down the calf was hardly a gash. Tokishima Haruto had been exaggerating, as expected. L-elf practically snorted inside his mind.

Sometime while he was cleaning the wound, Tokishima Haruto went somewhere else and he was left alone again. Good, now L-elf could examine his ankle carefully. He cringed as he reached below, and even though it wasn't that bad, it was swollen. He had to wake up way earlier to go to school, then, because walking would take more effort than usual. He expertly rolled a bandage over it, just in time when Tokishima Haruto came walk into the scene again. The brunet brought two mugs of green tea. L-elf could understand the JIORian's love towards tea, but why must it be green, and always green, he couldn't fathom.

But when the mug was placed in front of him, and he touched it, his cold fingertips immediately became so much warmer. The steam reached his face- his eyes, and it took him quite the effort not to let the muscles of his face relaxing. Because of they did, L-elf would do something unthinkable to him before. Something he wouldn't forgive himself to do in front of someone else.

He shrugged away the thought by sipping the tea, and he felt so much warmer.

"You're done with these, right?" Tokishima asked. L-elf didn't respond, but Tokishima Haruto probably understood things he didn't need to say, because the brunet closed the bos and out it down, under the coffee table. "So... are you okay? You were so pale and sweating even though it's winter now..."

Again with the personal question? "It's none of your business."

"You were running, th-"

"I wasn't being chased," L-elf said all too quickly, and he instantly realized his mistake. Tokishima Haruto's big eyes now narrowed. But not in anger. What was that emotion? Sad? Lonely? No... worry?

Tokishima cleared his throat after a moment of another staring competition between them. "I was going to say you were probably late for your train or... yeah, well." He looked awkward. L-elf groaned inwardly for the slip-up he did just now, which surely would cause Tokishima Haruto to assume things _correctly_. And now Tokishima Haruto would keep chasing him with questions as if it was important for him—"Please tell me you're not being chased by some criminal or something. Did you suddenly meet a homicide suspect in the middle of the street or the alley behind the library? Are you still in danger?"

See? L-elf predicted Tokishima's reaction correctly. He sipped his tea again, but it shocked himself to find how his lips were quivering before the mug.

"Just mind your own business, Tokishima Haruto. I'm surprised it didn't cross your mind that I was probably robbing a convenient store or stealing someone's purse," L-elf snorted loudly now.

"What? Why?" the brunet replied, sounding like he just heard something absolutely incredulous.

L-elf sighed. "You're a JIORian. You people look down at the refugees from Dorssia, and don't you dare tell me the otherwise," he said, managed to keep his voice level and cold, even though he had this urge to yell it to the brunet's face.

"Not the people around me, they won't!" Tokishima's voice got louder in a self defense, and L-elf glared at him hearing that, poking his chest with such force that Tokishima Haruto stepped back.

"I told you not to tell me the otherwise, because that would be a lie!" L-elf shouted now. "Yes, I was chased. By one of _you_ who stalked me and do you know what he told me when he waited for me in the back alley for an ambush? 'I'll treat you like a piece of shit that you are'. Ha! Ridiculous. And you dare telling me that your _friends_ never thought that way about Dorssian refugees?!" L-elf inhaled. "Don't lie to me, you must have thought something like that too!"

"I... never!" Tokishima Haruto held L-elf's wrist, which was immediately yanked off. L-elf glared at him as if his glare could burn a torch, and the brunet looked apologetic at once. "Oh... I'm sorry for that but... You should tell the police about it! And why are you running? You told me you were a black belt in karate! And that... that person... you're not a-"

L-elf definitely hadn't felt scared at the back alley. That man wasn't as scary as he was disgusting. "Don't you dare telling me things I knew already!" he shouted and stood up, cringed immediately when he felt pain that quickly died out. "What, if I attack him and then go to the police, then _what_? Do you think they'll let me off when I'm the one attacking him? Do you think you people would be fair?! And if I told you that he was a stalker, there's no way you people would believe my words against his!"

"I will!" Tokishima replied back fervently. L-elf's eyes widened at the uncharacteristic loud voice, his lips thinned until it was only a pale line in his face. "And if you go to the police, there's no way I won't back you up too!"

"But you weren't there!" L-elf said, but what he would give to take the word back. He shut his eyes closed immediately, wanting to dig a hole and disappearing from the surface of the earth, realizing he just said another slip-up for the second time in the span of a few minutes.

Was that what he was thinking? Did he want Tokishima Haruto to be there? Did he want to actually rely on this simplistic, idiotic brunet? He didn't know what he wanted. He didn't know what he might have been unconsciously thinking before. And not knowing his own mind was the most frustrating thing he ever felt. His mind was his only safe haven. Not having that was unthinkable.

L-elf pursed his lips and threw his face away. "I'm going home," he said without looking at Tokishima Haruto. He took the briefcase messenger back with him, and went to the door. There was no need for a key to open the door from the inside, and although it hurt like hell, L-elf managed not to limp as he stormed out of the room of the most infuriating person on Earth, wishing the pain would be numbed already.

He didn't want to see Tokishima Haruto's expression right now.

And even more than that, L-elf didn't want to find out what he would be feeling if he were to see the expression.

* * *

ハルエル

* * *

_A/N: Hahaha lol this scene reeks of UST. If you enjoy it, if you don't enjoy it, please comment on the box below, anything you want to say I'll gladly accept. I appreciate any kind of review! :D_

_Next chapter... We'll get a bit deeper into L-elf's condition right now, and his memories. A quick question, do you think Lieselotte should appear in this AU or not?_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Here you go as per your request, **chokichii-kun**! Thank you for your review, it made me write three times what I have written before your review, hohoho. Hope you guys like it, I made it longer than usual. Have a nice holiday for you who celebrate it!_

* * *

ハルエル

* * *

Fingers groped around in the dark until finding a familiar shape of light switch. The lamp flickered before lighting the whole cramped room, which was his whole world when he wanted to be left alone. He didn't even have a bathroom, using the public bath house for that. Right now, he would've gone there already if he wasn't so tired.

L-elf had come back home, and it took him three times longer for walking between the train station and his flat. He sighed, climbed up the floor from the front door, removing his shoes. Today was exhausting, to say the least, and the most draining one was his last outburst... No. L-elf refused to think about it. Not now, not when his feeling was still raw.

But he surprised himself earlier today; never once he thought he would be capable of throwing out the swirling emotions inside him. He didn't even think he could possess such strong emotions in the first place. He thought he had become null of the humane aspects for years now.

Looking around the room, there was no sign of anyone living there but him. At least he could say he was just as alone in this aspect as Tokishima—ugh. Wasn't he determined not to think about that ingrate being? L-elf didn't want to calculate with heady mind. Sighing deep, he heated up tap water instead of taking out his _futon_. He needed to calm down. The most affordable way right now was to make himself a mug of coffee. Extra sugar tonight, he needed something sweet. Plus, unlike a certain person who seemed to be in sugar-high regularly, L-elf wouldn't get hyper over some petty amount of sugar.

Immediately after the water was boiled, he took out a mug and the coffee plastic bag from the small container. Ah, there you go. The scent was truly calming. He breathed in and finally let his mind wander.

The stalker.

Tokishima Haruto.

L-elf's own feelings that seemed to come out of nowhere.

Why did he say something like he was expecting something from Tokishima Haruto? His words sounded too much like an accusation for his own comfort. L-elf really didn't want to admit it, but even before the stalker came, he had been too high-strung. There wasn't any single thing different from usual, except for one: the absence of Tokishima Haruto. L-elf would rather murder someone than admitting it out loud, but the brunet's presence had become something normal in his routine. Him badmouthing the other had become a kind of stress-reliever. He even wondered why the heck Tokishima never backed down from him after all those insults.

L-elf had been wondering, and, admittedly, worrying. When Tokishima Haruto didn't show up earlier today, he wondered if the last time was Tokishima's final string of patience for him.

This must be because L-elf didn't have a friend. No one close enough to be called a friend. He had no idea if he ever wanted one, or how he should treat one.

His mind travelled to the past, where Dorssian children refugees were gathered in one place which was nothing different than a foster home. But one by one, they were leaving. L-elf could only be grateful that the other's families seemed rather nice. Even A-drei's seemed to be filthy rich. The same man who adopted A-drei came back again some years after, and took another person. Not L-elf though, never L-elf. It was a baby called K-zwolf. It was years ago, but the fellow Dorssian kids were as close as human beings ever got to him.

L-elf knew he had been deliberately difficult to handle. However, let alone friend, he didn't quite know how to regard someone a family. Even before the whole coup-d'etat at Dorssia, he never felt like had one. A concept of "father", "mother", "siblings", they were hard to grasp for him, even now. After the fifth foster house returned him before the weekend was over, he decided not to wait to be adopted anymore. As soon as he got into the junior high school, he filed a request to live alone. Even the agency's attendants seemed glad he was gone. "Good riddance", he heard the night before he left. L-elf decided not to care for their opinions or anyone's ever since.

Sometimes he still needed to come back for "guardian's approval" or other petty matters from the school, but otherwise, L-elf had cut himself from his past. He didn't need it, he didn't need himself to have a past. He didn't need anyone. That way, even if no one treated him kindly, he wouldn't budge.

At least until today.

"...!" He cringed when his tongue got burned from the coffee that he sipped absentmindedly. Rolling his tongue, he waited until it calmed down and the coffee cooler, then he drank all of it. Enough for today, he still had school tomorrow morning.

* * *

Wednesday passed as if nothing ever happened the previous night. There were some of his classmates whom L-elf knew had been wondering about his limping posture, but no one dared to ask him anything. He wasn't interested in humoring them either, but once his ears caught on one of the boy groups, joked something lewd about his condition.

If glare could kill...

At least the boys were appropriately scared for their lives. There was blood behind his gaze, L-elf knew it. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he was always reminded of his difference with the JIOR boys whom only had known peace and luxury. A family to come home to, a hot meal they could eat every night, people who cared for them regardless of what kind of person they might be.

_Hmph_. At least he only had to spend another year before passing through this compulsory education. Afterwards, he could be suicidal without government officials knocking on the door to observe him. They needed a proof that they were treating the refugees well. Not that L-elf was complaining. Thanks to that, he got to the school for free provided he maintained good score. (And as an overachiever that he was, he always got the first place in the exams without even batting his eyes.) He also had some health insurances until he was 20 or something, but he never used it. Sure, he had gone down with fever once in a while, but nothing so severe he needed to get to a hospital. He never got into a bone-breaking accident either. Such luck.

That night he could twist around his ankle only with slight pain. This would heal quickly.

Thursday, though, was his work shift. And no matter how he tried diverting his attention elsewhere with the school (such _bore_), he kept feeling the dread of coming to the local library, which came from the possibility of facing a certain brunet which invoked all but certainty in L-elf's mind. Should he resign from the job? L-elf didn't live in luxury, he didn't need a lot of food either. Working part time had become a routine more than it was necessity, and he could shift his time to be better managed. Like, picking up his karate lessons again, or perhaps getting insight to a military training? He felt like he could handle a gun and military knife quite well, especially since he always imagined his glares had the same effect to a person's mind that the weapons did to someone's body.

Still, he walked straighter than yesterday, sighing as he saw the familiar books behind glass display. He entered through back exit, slightly glad there was no one suspicious lurking around. As usual, he took off his black gakuran uniform and leaving him cladded in shirt and trousers only. The room temperature was comfortably warmer than outside, which was good, because he still didn't have a scarf, and strong to cold or not, it wasn't that important to test his limit.

He took slow steps towards the counter, his eyes involuntarily glanced to the same spot by the window which was often occupied. By a certain someone. His stomach lurched when he didn't find the familiar hue of the hair, but he also felt more relaxed. He checked the member log on the computer, and there it was, yesterday Tokishima Haruto did stop by to return the books, just as he said. So he _could_ come when it wasn't L-elf's shift. Of course. That didn't shock L-elf at all, no. And if his face turned a little more sour, people would just pass by thinking it was a normal occurence.

After the awkward conversation they shared, Tokishima was probably avoiding him. That would be the best for either of them. L-elf still couldn't quite figure out what was happening to himself, but it was always the better choice not to involve himself with others.

...right?

Ah, it was time for work, he shouldn't get his head off in the clouds like this.

The glass door slid open. L-elf turned around to greet the customer, then stopped short at the sight of familiar dark tosca coat uniform.

_His_ name crawled at the back of L-elf's throat, but he managed to stop himself from calling out loud. Looking at Tokishima didn't help with this incoherent emotions he managed to feel all at once, though, so L-elf turned his face away.

He could hear the unsure steps slowly approaching. L-elf cringed from how aware he was of the brunet, it wasn't natural. Thank goodness before Tokishima could arrive at his spot, other customers started making a line in front of him. L-elf couldn't control the muscles in his face to form a smile, but he could decently serve the others. He couldn't see Tokishima Haruto from the direction he was looking at, but if he still could trust his brain, then Tokishima would be sitting on some corner and it would be within his calculation.

Tokishima seemed like he wanted to say something, and knowing the nature of the brunet, he would come when the library was emptier. L-elf saw Tokishima did sit down. He stopped himself before he could think of how proficient he was on noticing Tokishima Haruto's behavior.

* * *

The closing hour was approaching, _finally_. It seemed to stretch even longer than his last Tuesday shift, and L-elf attributed his nerves to the presence of Tokishima Haruto. How was it possible that whether Tokishima Haruto coming or not, L-elf still felt some distress? Incomprehensible. He thought he had begun to understand himself in this matter, but it appeared there were still things to think about.

People were disappearing one by one, and he couldn't see anyone else from his sight beside Tokishima Haruto. L-elf realized how Tokishima fidgeted more as people were going out, but they both avoided each other's glances. _Coward_, L-elf thoughtof Tokishima, without admitting he was also the same. No, L-elf shook his head. He honestly didn't have anything to tell Tokishima. Even so, he did have things he wanted to ask, because thinking by himself seemed to hold no answers.

It was five minutes before the end of his shift, and while he was turning around to take care of the catalog cards, he sensed Tokishima's steps (okay, well, he hadn't stopped being _very_ aware of the other).

"I'm borrowing these," was the first sentence spoken between them since Tuesday. L-elf returned to the counter and put the books' data in Tokishima's logs. He pushed over the books on the counter towards Tokishima the next minute, but his throat felt too uncharacteristically coarse to say something. He glanced at the other, who seemed uncomfortable with his silence. L-elf bit his gum. It shouldn't be his problem, but he felt a little bad. Guilty.

He stood there. Tokishima hadn't moved yet, but why did L-elf feel compelled to stay still as well, as if he was waiting for something?

Tokishima coughed. "Uh, your feet..."

There it was, the personal stuffs. Though, counting he had imposed Tokishima the other day, it was fair to inform the things related to his injuries. "They're fine," he said sullenly, but Tokishima frowned in disbelief. Just how could Tokishima see through his pretense like that? "Better. No bleeding or anything."

"The ankle?"

L-elf wanted to say that he never told Tokishima about his ankle, but then he remembered tapping the sprain. Tokishima was there as well, no wonder he knew. "I can walk without cringing every meter or so. It's fine," L-elf replied.

Silence. It wasn't the comfortable kind either.

"I'm sorry!" Tokishima suddenly bowed rigidly and L-elf's eyes widened, though he didn't say anything about it. Yet. He still needed to process what it was for... "I seem to make a mistake last time. I don't know what, but you seem angry so I'm really sorry if I'm too nosy or pushy but I don't mean any harm. And you don't seem to regard me as your friend, but I did, so maybe it made you feel uncomfortable and I am sorry."

Tokishima blabbered, and L-elf stayed silent until the end, and then some.

The other peeked at him, he noticed that. But he needed to form what he wanted to say inside his head first, and it was going to take a while, because.

Friend. A friend. He didn't know how to feel about it. Tokishima Haruto seemed pompous to think he could regard L-elf as a friend. L-elf didn't know he could have one. Colleagues, sure. Teammates, classmates, schoolmates? Obviously. Interacting with other people and creating bonds were inevitable. But he didn't need to care for people. And the others definitely didn't seem to ever want to care for him. Teachers were professionally kind, expecting him to do the best at school (which he effortlessly did). Classmates expected him to be more social, which he didn't bother to fulfill. Several girls who confessed their so-called feelings to him made him feel more furious than glad. He made them cry with harsh rejection, but he didn't know them. He didn't trust them. Why would he even fulfill their expectations of being a close person for them?

Tokishima Haruto now stood still and looked at him in worry. Again, the worriness. As if he... cared. And not for his grades, or for his lack of social interactions.

Maybe he did care. Maybe for Tokishima, their brief weekly exchanges were enough to feel like L-elf was his friend. And what about himself? Didn't he also let himself go to Tokishima's place? Wasn't the other's presence had become something like a normalcy for him? And didn't the fact that he blurted out things to Tokishima make him feel guilty, enough to cause huge discomfort?

_Oh_.

L-elf opened his mouth and closed it again. His shift had ended some minutes ago, but even with the silence, Tokishima seemed to understand that he needed time and waited patiently. L-elf was never a patient man unless it was calculated within his plan. Maybe there _was_ some quality in Tokishima that he could admire afterall, though he didn't know how could Tokishima waste his time for someone like L-elf. It was absurd.

"There's nothing to apologize for," he finally murmured. Some people seemed to have difficulty when he was murmuring his calculations or replies, but judging from how Tokishima seemed to look more hopeful the next second, L-elf would say that Tokishima understood him just fine. "I was a bit upset then, and I lashed it out to you, which was uncalled for. Also, for letting me use your aid kit... youhavemygratitude."

He never said thank you for something really personal before. It was embarrassing.

"It's going to be closed soon, right? I mean, the library," Tokishima asked as he took the books and put them inside his briefcase bag. Of course L-elf knew what he meant. "I didn't bring any snack tonight. Do you want to eat dinner together? I'll treat you as an apology."

L-elf frowned. "I've told you there was nothing to apologize for."

"Then, as friends," Tokishima said, and his face looked as if in shocked, as if he wanted to take that back. L-elf noticed he hadn't said anything about that issue. "I-"

"I'll pay for myself," he blurted out before he could think twice about it.

And Tokishima's face suddenly distorted, or rather, bloomed? Eyes wide, smile wide, even his ridiculous haircut seemed to puff. So the other _did_ understand that L-elf was agreeing to his invitation, and it was, again, embarrassing. Damn. L-elf wished he wouldn't be so easily read by someone as open-book as Tokishima. He was supposed to be better than this at controlling his emotions. Or rather, he was supposed to be more emotionless than this in the first place. Ah, being with Tokishima messed with his head calculations.

"Of course! Uhm, I know a cheap but tasty sushi shop, or do you want something more Dorssian-like? They're kinda expensive around here, though. Or if you like ramen better, or..."

"Sushi. And shut up, you're blabbering like a retard. Yet again." L-elf snorted, losing the bites he always had in his insults.

Tokishima never seemed to mind them, and he didn't start minding it just now. "Sushi then!" he chirped. "I'll wait outside, so yeah." And he walked outside as soon as he finished the sentence.

L-elf had to turn around and cover his mouth before anyone could see the smile which threatened to appear anytime.

* * *

Opening the door to the back alley brought some disgusting memories, but L-elf calmed himself down. He turned to his right, and there was a familiar silhouette (that ridiculous haircut) shadowing over the end of the alley. It was surprising how that simple thing could flood L-elf with comfort. He closed the door, and it shut in a loud noise, that Tokishima turned around. His face was bright, too bright for the night, but L-elf found himself not minding.

"Don't be grinning like an idiot."

Well, not inside. But he didn't feel normal unless he said something about that, and praising was not a choice. (Besides, what praise could he say about some idiotic grin, no matter how the expression complemented Tokishima's facial features or other things as such.)

They were walking to the left, closer to the station as well as the direction of Tokishima's place. Tokishima walked in the same pace with him, and L-elf was highly tempted to varied his paces just for the heck of it. But before he could do it, Tokishima already said, "You know, you seem to like sweet foods more, maybe we could go to a cake shop in front of the subway train station. Sho- _My friend_ liked the cakes there, and knowing her impeccable taste, it must be really good. And if it's bought it won't look as horrible as her own cooking, though no one could deny she cooks deliciously. I could only say one thing that looks decent, and it's only because she doesn't need to do anything else but putting it to its mold."

Tokishima was talking about a female friend, and L-elf mind immediately wandered to that one time he was talking about a female as well. Probably the same person. He felt weird about another outing invitation with Tokishima though. "I never agree to going there," L-elf said, and Tokishima made a disappointed face.

"Okay... oh, but I could bring some cakes to you, I think you'll be tempted," Tokishima said, the optimistic retard.

"Whatever," L-elf muttered under his breath, but Tokishima must have heard it, because he chuckled the next second.

"Ah, there!" Tokishima pointed with his left arm, which touched L-elf's right shoulder. It was on the other side of the park than Tokishima's place. "It's packed on weekends, but we should be safe tonight even without reservation," he said, shifting his direction to the park.

L-elf followed him, and relished slightly at the beauty of the park. Funny, he had been here for months but he never noticed the water fountain nor the beautifully arranged trees and crafted benches. (Also the couples who cuddled on them even though it wasn't weekend.)

"Tch, they have no reserve..." he muttered.

"Hm? What are you talking about?" Tokishima faced him, and surely by now L-elf had stopped getting surprised at how the other seemed to listen to him all too well. Only he hadn't.

He sighed. "You know, it's creepy when you-"

"Haruto!"

Tokishima turned away from L-elf, which made him involuntarily frowned. And when he spoke, there was mre amazement to the surprice in his voice.

"Sho-Shoko?!"

A brunet girl with dual-colored hair pins, eyes as wide as Tokishima's, and wore a distasteful cow T-shirt approached them, her arms waved up high as she ran across the park from Tokishima's apartment. "Shoko", the familiarity in Tokishima's voice, it must be the female friend Tokishima mentioned.

"You must be turning off your phone! I tried calling you!" she said as soon as she got to their spots. Tokishima went on defensive mode immediately, muttering apologizes which she ignored as she continued talking, "I went to your place but you weren't home yet, and it's weird, it's really weird to come home early at Thursdays but I guess I'll get used to it sooner or later. How about going to our favorite sushi shop for dinner?"

L-elf frowned, this girl was worse than Tokishima. Who just gasped and chuckled right now. "I was on my way there!" he said bemusedly, and the girl laughed as well.

"I'm so tired of having the same thoughts with you!" she giggled, and L-elf felt like rolling his eyes. He didn't get the chance to do it, though, because the girl suddenly shifted her attention to him and he inwardly flinched. L-elf decided he didn't like the girl. She seemed worse in impulsiveness than Tokishima. "Hi there, I was waiting for Haruto to introduce you, but he sucks like that, hahaha. I'm Sashinami Shoko, nice to meet you!" She bowed and stood back as if her body was bouncing.

L-elf rolled his eyes for real this time. Of course Tokishima didn't get the chance since she was dominating the conversation, how could she miss that? He definitely loathed the way she said "he sucks like that" as if she knew him any better and deliberately flaunting it to L-elf. "L-elf Karlstein," he said for the sake of being civil and nodded.

"I think I remembered your hair color..." she began, and L-elf expected Dorssian-jokes or something similar to appear. "You must be the librarian!" she exclaimed instead. L-elf lifted his eyebrows. If she ever talked to him, he would definitely remember this irritation he associated with her, but he couldn't recall it.

"Uh, Shoko? I'm hungry, can we just talk inside the restaurant?" Tokishima butted into the conversation before L-elf could voice out his thoughts, and Shoko agreed, nodding and shouting 'let's go!' which was totally uncalled for. Tokishima paled in excitement compared to Sashinami. For L-elf, that was a surprise.

They were exchanging words and jokes all the way across the street to their tables, and sometimes Sashinami asked L-elf just for being polite. He didn't care what Tokishima might have thought about this development. Haha. Why would he?

The almost-twins were ordering absurdly named sushi rolls, and L-elf stuck with gunkan and sashimi. They talked more, until Tokishima was mentioning the cake shop, and, "Your cooking's not bad, but they look gross."

"How dare you, Haruto! I'm always cooking with lots of love, you know!"

And L-elf thought Haruto—_no, Tokishima,_ he corrected himself from following Sashinami's way of calling Ha- calling Tokishima—he thought Tokishima would be more flustered hearing that, but Tokishima didn't react anything but with small laugh.

"The only thing you ever made which looked anywhere near decent was your _yokan_. At least your combined snacks don't look weird either because you didn't make them yourself." Tokishima sighed. But L-elf went wide-eyed. _Then, those snacks..._

"But you always took them when you were waiting for me, so you must have loved them too, hm? Hmm?" Sashinami smiled teasingly.

L-elf felt terrible. His stomach felt really terrible, and there was a lump in his throat that he couldn't swallow. If he were to think about it clearly... Then Tokishima came to the library only for waiting this girl. L-elf should be glad, he hadn't accused Tokishima of being a stalker yet. There wasn't any damage yet. He should be glad. And yet he felt terrible. Why?

He barely remembered anything that night except eating bland food, ignoring the other two until they went separate ways, and going back home. He didn't even bother calculating what could have possibly made him feel nauseous, silently hoping it would disappear on its own. When Saturday came, he blatantly ignored Tokishima at the library, whom clearly didn't know what was wrong. Well, neither did L-elf, and the discomfort seemed to nestle in his stomach comfortably without any sign of leaving, so they were comrades in that aspect.

* * *

ハルエル

* * *

_A/N: Thank you for reading this far! This would be wrapped up in 2-3 more chapters, so please enjoy until then~ And is anyone here excited for the last episode tomorrow? _

_Your comments/reviews are precious! I cannot write this without encouragement (because I already finished it in my mind for personal enjoyment lol), so if you have time, even just a short line, even if anonymous, I'll really appreciate them~_


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